Two Bad Kitties

Colder

2008-11-18T20:24:00.002-06:00

It's been cold lately, and I've been sniffling a lot. But the box on the wall has started blowing warm air again, so I'm happy about that.

I've had to start protecting the humans from the thing that lives under the blankets again. I don't know why they keep sitting under them. Every time they do something starts moving under it and I have to attack it to keep them safe. They just laugh.

I don't understand humans.

Newtonian tails

2008-10-31T20:39:00.004-05:00

I apologize for not writing any updates here in such a long time. I have been deep in research over the last couple of weeks. I have no idea why Gypsy has been lax in updating though. But I can never figure anything out with her.

About Gypsy: she has been the subject of my latest research. As we all know, kitties have tails that swish whether they want them to or not. (Watching Gypsy try to pin her tail down when cleaning it sometimes makes me wonder if she can ever control it.) As I watched Gypsy sitting on a human's lap one night recently, I couldn't help but compare her tail to a pendulum. As we all know, pendulums swing back and forth with a period that depends only on their length, not their weight. I started wondering: does a kitty's tail act the same way? If a cat's tail is swishing back and forth and a constricting object (such as a human's hand) holds part if the tail in place, effectively shortening it, does its swishing period speed up? It would only make sense that it would. Unfortunately, Gypsy's tail is both uncontrollable and unpredictable, so I don't believe this experiment could be carried out on her. Perhaps one of my colleagues at another institution could find a suitable subject?

Fun Batons

2008-10-16T07:31:00.000-05:00

I'm continually amazed by the fantastic things the humans throw away on a daily basis. In their litterbox room they have a round bin with a lid on it into which they sometimes put little sticks with cotton on the ends. I call these "fun batons". They're the perfect shape for picking up and carrying around in your teeth, and they're great for pulling apart. I especially like pushing them under the carpet where I can exercise my hunting abilities by digging and reaching for them. I really don't understand why they get rid of these. Don't they see how great they are?

I fear that that last sentence might have made me sound like Gypsy and her earlier maniacal ravings about foil balls. Note that am keenly aware of the difference between a fun baton and a foil ball: one is a fantastic plaything, while the other is garbage.

Update

2008-10-14T21:36:00.000-05:00

I can pick it up in my mouth! I love it!

Foil!

2008-10-14T20:31:00.003-05:00

The humans had baked potatoes for dinner last night. Know what that means?

Aluminum foil!

They made the BIGGEST foil ball I've ever seen and just left it on the floor. Left it! This thing's so huge I can't hide it and then fish it out of the normal places. I cant even fit my teeth around it to pick it up! I love it.

I wonder why the humans never play with foil balls. All I ever see them do is look at those square lights on their laps.

Score!

2008-10-11T11:18:00.002-05:00

The humans pulled out a box of stuff today and inside I found some great ribbon in it. It's red with gold foil and is fantastic for chewing on. I pulled out a bunch of it earlier and they acted like they were going to take it away, but I fooled them into cutting some off and leaving it for me. This is great! I'll write more later.

I hope they clean out the box too. Ribbon in a box. What could be better?

Important Research

2008-10-10T21:30:00.000-05:00

I spent most of this evening doing sleeping position research on the butterfly chair, a lifelong interest to me. Soon I hope to publish the seminal work in the area.

Most of tonight's research was in the area of keeping control of the chair after you have obtained it. I see three main approaches toward this goal:

Anger - A human approaching an angry cat on a chair will instinctively leave the cat alone. Unfortunately, this can cause other problems: humans appear to often punish kitties for anger, especially when related to furniture.
Cuteness - Purring and rubbing one's head on a piece of furniture, especially when laying on one's back, are well-known methods of obtaining human approval and holding one's ground. This is usually done at the cost of one's dignity though.
Floppy Kitty - This is my personal favorite. By pretending to be too tired to move, humans will often give up and move on to a different chair. Even if they do have the ambition needed to sit in the chair, the only way for them to secure the chair is by physically picking you up. From that point you will generally just be deposited on their lap when they sit down, which is a very good postion: now you are both sitting in the chair and have a warmth device below you.

There is still a lot of work to be done in this and related areas, but I feel this research will be far-reaching in the kitty world.

This morning

2008-10-10T06:54:00.000-05:00

Yeah, whatever. At least I didn't wake the humans up with my screechy voice today.

I beat up Sophie this morning!

2008-10-10T06:51:00.000-05:00

Sophie always smugly acts like she's the queen of the house, but I showed her! I slapped her in the face this morning after eating breakfast! I ran away afterward, but I think I won!

Today's Events

2008-10-09T20:56:00.000-05:00

Today was a pretty lazy day in kitty land. Gypsy and I freaked out the humans by sitting on the hope chest in their bedroom this morning and staring at them until they left the house for the day, but after that I just lounged about. Gypsy, as usual, was loud all day.